I see hiraeth as a deep, personal sense of missing or loss, a yearning for a connection to somewhere or someone when you are separated. It’s that churning feeling in your stomach when you think of it. Hiraeth isn’t just about a place you can’t return to; it’s a longing for a feeling of home or belonging. It’s a bittersweet idealism of the past and how things once were.
Think of missing a family member who has passed away. The hole they’ve left is palpable. You have fond memories that you cherish, but there’s also a sadness because those moments are gone forever. The memories bring pain, but you would never discard them. You might even relish remembering despite the mixture of feelings they evoke. Maybe I was longing for the memories we made, but they will remain just memories because of the pain you caused.
“A pull on the heart that conveys a distinct feeling of missing something irretrievably lost.” This quote perfectly captures the essence of hiraeth.
Everyone I’ve ever loved I have slowly burned from myself. Some by choice, some by loss, but most by force. Piece by piece, little bits of my soul and humanity have been stripped away until there’s nothing but bones left. I’ve carefully picked and lit each one on fire, and as the ashes fall to the ground, the silence is deafening. The pit in my stomach refuses to cease, and the welling of salt water in my eyes burns and yearns to be released.
Some people are meant to travel on this journey alone. The broken heal what the healthy cannot see. The lonely feel what the loved one cannot be. In disappointment comes relief, for failure is a common thief. The ebbs and flows of life’s uncertainty and the depths of the love that have been lost to me.
I often find myself missing the nostalgia, not the person, because you can never truly go back. The past is a beautiful place to visit in memories, but it’s not a place you can live. The memories of how things used to be are both comforting and painful. They remind me of the happiness I once felt and the sadness of knowing it’s gone.
We all have moments of hiraeth. We all yearn for those lost connections, those feelings of belonging, and those times when everything felt right. It’s a part of being human. It’s about cherishing the memories, despite the pain they bring, and understanding that sometimes, our journeys are meant to be traveled alone. In those moments, we find a strength and a resilience we never knew we had. And maybe, just maybe, we can find peace in the nostalgia, even if we can’t return to the past.
